Day 1 - Sacred Buddies
Here are a few elements to contemplate through your day. We will build on these concepts tomorrow.
So when you get on the call with your buddy for a couple of minutes you are going to share with each other as many things as you can think of that you feel grateful for and why.
Small things, big things, this isn’t limited to the main sources of nourishment in your life, it could be the moon. the mountains, marshmallows, whatever!
While you do this take an internal snapshot of your body, noticing what is generated - because it’s that feeling that we crave, not the thing itself. This gratitude thing actually re-programs our brains negativity bias.
We are going to learn how to turn on our gratitude at will.
Have you noticed that when we are in a conversation and we think we are listening often we are just waiting for a space - when someone says something that makes us think about something we want to contribute, we are waiting to put in our own thing?
Active listening is a much richer and more productive practice where we notice ourselves spacing out, we notice ourselves waiting for our turn to speak, but we keep coming back to giving the other person total 100% presence. It’s amazing to watch your mind want to put in it’s own 2 pence worth even though what you are meant to be doing is listening.
Trusting that the thing that you’re meant to say next in the conversation is not always the urgent thing that you feel you can’t help but say next. True active listening doesn’t care if it gets to say everything it wants.
Rudolf Steiner says when you hear a puppy bark / baby cry - first you just listen to the sound of that thing, then you tune in to the energy that threw that sound out - where was the impulse rooted that because the sound? When you are listening to someone you it’s not the exact content you are listening but also what is behind the words - What is the ROOT / NEED that is saying those words - where are they coming from?
Asking the right questions
By asking the right questions you are facilitating someone thinking about what they are feeling and what they want to say in a way that they would not have done sitting by themselves.
For example, when we talk about having something we want, often it’s not the exact thing that we think we want that we are focussing all of our attention on but it’s really the feeling we are going to have that we really want.
So as a partner we would ask our buddy - what would it really feel like to have that thing?
You say the thing you want to have (let’s say you want a puppy) For 5 minutes you tell me everything about what having a puppy would feel like - you give yourself that thing and conjure up the body sensation of having it.
Then we close our eyes and take an internal snapshot of the feeling as we dissolve the image of the puppy and then we have a free discussion about where in my life do I already get that feeling and where in my life could I freely source it as my life is RIGHT NOW - in other words, we are opening up the aperture of our life to get what we really want (the feeling not the thing).